This time of year is always hard for me. Even though I think about our child that we lost to miscarriage everyday, it's especially hard now. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I think about what might have been with that child. I miss our child even though we never met. I also think about how God can see the tapestry of our lives while all we see are the threads that make it up. He knew that Gabe was meant to be in our family. Had I given birth to our biological child, we would not have Gabe. It's not a trade - I just wish I could have them both. They are both my children; one I have been able to raise and nurture and the other, I will always have in my heart.
This is Gabe's first Christmas. This thought has brought me so much joy. We are able to share our first Christmas as a family together. I do not take these days for granted. I love Gabe so much. Here is a picture of him in the jammies Nana got him:
Christmas is a time of joy - the birth of our Savior, time with friends & family, presents, snow, etc... I am full of joy to be Gabe's mom. I am thankful, so very thankful, that he is my son.